Pokemon drawn from description alone by someone who doesn't know anything about Pokemon.

by Noelle Stevenson

aka Gingerhaze

Submit a Pokeyman!

 

Beartic

Beartic is a triangle shaped polar bear. He has a slightly pointed face, and he always looks angry. He has a beard made of big icicles, scrawny upper arms and huge forearms, like a furry Popeye. Beartic’s dog-like paws have only 3 large, sausagey fingers with claws. His legs end abruptly without feet, and he has a lot of extra hair around his lower abdomen and between his legs, to keep his junk warm.


I WOULD PREFER FOR IT NOT TO LOOK LIKE THIS PLEASE

oh I guess that makes

sense

Farfetch’d: He’s a mallard with big anime eyes and a thick v-shaped unibrown. He also carries a leek in one hand to hit people with



Unfortunately I ruined this one for myself…I read it and I was like “haha how dumb do you think I am, no way I’m drawing your obvious prank Pokeyman”

then I googled it just for the hell of it

oh my god

this is a real Pokemon you guys

Zweilous is a pokeyman with a fat round four legged body, at the end of each feet are two claws. At the neck it gets weird: It has two heads and fur covering them from the bottom of the neck up, each head has a Ringo Star Haircut with the addition of two feather things made of the same hair on top of each head.  Also two fur-wing-thingies, one behind each head.



So since you didn’t give me any description whatsoever for the heads themselves, I have to assume that it actually has two Ringo Starr heads.

not that I let myself google what Ringo Starr looks like either…

There is comfort in knowing I was never going to get this one right from that description.

Snivy: He’s a short lizard-looking pokemon. He stands on two legs with tiny pointy feet. His body is shaped like a wonky “s” and his nose is swoopy and pointy at the end. He has large eyes that are half-lidded and has a very smug expression on his face (his nickname is smugleaf). His short arms have short spikey fingers. His tail ends in a large leaf shape with three points. He has two collar pieces that stick out like curly dracula collars, and his belly/underchin are white but the top of his head & back/tail/arms are green.



the S is for sucks

sorry, couldn’t resist. Okay now for real.

If this is close I will shoot myself in the face.

not

even

that far off?????

lopunny

Lopunny is a lop-eared bunny lady. She is uncomfortably curvy and lady-shaped. Her long ears end in fluffy puffs of fur, and her wrists have similar puffs around them. Her eyebrows extend upward past her head. Her legs have similar puffs, but look more like she’s wearing stylish boots. Her face is fairly bunny-ish, with beady eyes & a small nose, but cute.




oh oh dear that came out a bit terrifying

JESUS THAT IS A SEXY BUNNY POKEYMAN RIGHT THERE

Try Espeon!: Espeon is pink and catlike. It has long, football shaped ears and a jewel on its forehead. It has two tufts of fur on each side. The top one is bigger than the other, and they’re both ovalish. It also has a tail that splits in two about half way through it.

Okay you lost me at the tufts, what even…?

oh balls I sure got that one wrong